Why are so many girls lesbian or bisexual?

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Some women entering sexual maturity may find themselves attracted to lớn both men và women. The internal question becomes "Am I normal?" On this episode of The Scope, Dr. Kirtly Parker Jones discusses sexual attraction và resources available khổng lồ find a safe space.

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The Scope, Dr. Kirtly Parker Jones discusses sexual attraction & resources available khổng lồ find a safe space.">

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Jul 13, 2017


Interviewer: You lượt thích guys, but you think you might also lượt thích girls. It"s a personal question, but how vị you figure out your sexual orientation & what"s considered normal? We"re going khổng lồ talk about this right now on The Scope.

Announcer: Questions every woman wonders about her health, body toàn thân, và mind, this is "Am I Normal?" on The Scope.

Interviewer: We"re talking lớn Dr. Kirtly Parker Jones. She"s the expert on all things woman. Dr. Jones, we have a letter here from an audience thành viên that"s a little bit younger than our typical listeners. She"s 16 years old. She"s never had sex. She says that she is confident that she likes guys, but she might also like girls. But she doesn"t really know what her sexual preference is because, again, she"s never had sex. She"s wondering, is this a normal thing to be experiencing?

Dr. Jones: Okay. Well, first of all, I"m glad she emailed, but I hope she also has somebody toàn thân that"s safe khổng lồ talk khổng lồ. But let"s talk about normal again. So sometimes normal is a scientific number, and sometimes normal is a cultural construct, meaning the culture tells you what"s normal & what"s normal when culture may not be normal or another. And when it comes lớn sexual preference or sexual identity, it"s both a scientific number, and I can give you some numbers, and it"s neither because, in fact, we live in a multi-cultural society and people don"t always tell the truth, so we may not even have sầu the right numbers.

But let"s just vày some numbers. The scientific number, which isn"t very scientific, is about 4% of people, 18 to 45, identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, meaning not straight. Now, about 7% of millennials will tiông chồng that box as "Not straight" & about 12% of Americans in this age group have sầu had some same sex sexual encounter. So normal, we consider anything that at least 10% of the population would be, so we"re struggling here because a lot of people don"t tell, so the "Don"t ask, don"t tell" has been around a long time both in medicine và how vị we begin khổng lồ actually get this information.

Now, the cultural, when it comes to normal, it"s really very difficult lớn know what normal is because one culture or subculture may consider one thing as okay. And often, we use the word "normal" as what we think as okay, so that a lot of people would vì chưng things that we think are not okay, lượt thích have sex outside your marriage, that"s lượt thích not okay. It"s so comtháng that it"s normal by numbers. So I don"t know what normal is, but you are certainly, this young woman is not alone.

In young people, particularly young women, sexual preference is rather fluid, meaning the kind of people someone might want to have sex with kind of changes a bit, a bunch. The old paradigm, the old way of thinking was that you were born one way or the other và you need khổng lồ just piông chồng one. You"re either gay or you"re straight, and you need to lớn stiông chồng with it. But in fact, we"re finding more và more that, once again, particularly for women, it"s not so simple.

So some people, all their lives, will have sầu a preference for one or the other or equally for both, but some people move from one sexual preference khổng lồ another through their adolescence. A young woman may have a very cthảm bại personal friover & that person might be gay or might not be gay, và what becomes a very personal relationship starts khổng lồ feel lượt thích a thắm thiết relationship. So for many women, và particularly young women, it"s more about the relationship, the person, than it is about the sex. So we tkết thúc to, as women can, inflate our romance and our relationship with sex, whereas men bởi that a little less than women.

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So the most important thing is if you don"t know right now, don"t tell, meaning you don"t have sầu khổng lồ commit right now. This is an important thing for you lớn talk about and think about, but you need khổng lồ find someone you can talk to. And most importantly, you need to lớn be safe. So the place that I wouldn"t talk about it is all over school or even with one person at school unless you think that person is really safe.

Interviewer: You put a lot of emphasis on making sure that she has someone that she can talk to lớn. Why is that so critical?

Dr. Jones: The important reason lớn talk through how you"re feeling và work with someone that you feel safe with is because in many cultures, and I don"t know the culture of this young woman, being gay is considered not okay. And so many young people who find themselves with same sex attraction, that brings with it an enormous layer of guilt & "I am not okay" & self-loathing.

We know that gay & lesbian and transgendered children, young people, adolescents are more likely to commit suicide. We know they"re more likely to lớn use drugs & alcohol. And part of this is the alienation they feel from themselves and their family. So I want these people, these young people to be safe, and being able to talk to lớn through it with someone who understands that they"re going to grow, they"re going lớn feel more comfortable with themselves as they get older, whichever path they take, will be helpful & keep these young people safe.

So who bởi vì you find who"s safe? Now, it could be that you have a parent who"s safe. Or in this case, it might be an auntie or someone that you know. It could be a counselor because more and more high school counselors are becoming very familiar & very comfortable in talking khổng lồ young people about sexual identity và sexual choice và the fluidity that people experience in high school.

If you don"t feel that this is a safe place for you to lớn talk out your concerns & grow with them, there are several churches that welcome gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, & queer people of all kinds. I would say that the Metropolichảy Church and there are Metropolirã churches all over the country. The Unitarian Church is often very welcoming and the pastors in those churches are trained khổng lồ help people talk about how they feel. So you need lớn be safe.

So the question is, and the answer is, whether or not you"re normal and I don"t think that"s really the question, is that you are okay & you are not alone. You are in really good company.

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